Khanverse’s book review of "The Female Solution" by Naimah Latif
Here are some of my other posts on Naimah Latif, her book, “The Female Solution”, and the subject of polygamy/polygyny
Polygyny is the Female Solution?
Polygamy amongst Black Muslims in Philly
The Female Solution
Naimah Latif on Bill Cosby
And about her late husband, my mentor: Sultan Latif
The Female Solution - Naimah Latif
“I don’t have to listen to you, you ain’t my daddy
Amma do what I waunt. You cain’t tell me nuthin!”
As we gaze across the American landscape now that we’ve gained a foothold on the 21st century, we can’t help but notice:
Something has gone terribly wrong.
The basic foundation of any society is the family.
A family consists of two parents, a mother and father, and usually some children or offspring. If the families tear apart, societies will inevitably follow suit.
In nomadic, agrarian societies before the dawn of enlightened “civilization”, the family unit was also part of a larger tribe which consisted of extended family: cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, tribal elders, etc.
In order to survive, members of the tribe all had to rely on one another. Before the assembly line “innovation” of the industrial revolution, families, tribes, and communities amongst almost all species have had an efficient division of labor scheme.
As we wander ever closer to the looming cataclysm of nuclear war our communities are crumbling apart. Babies are making and raising babies. Fathers have disappeared. Women are becoming Men. Real men are few and far between. Slavery has a reemerged like the Phoenix and adopted another alias: Imprisonment. In “correctional facilities.”
Powe’s father left when he was 2. The building in which the family lived burned down when he was 7. Connie Landry, his mother, was in and out of trouble with the law.
Leon Powe, a young basketball player and key contributor in the 2nd unit for the ’08 NBA Champion Boston Celtics, has had direct experience with the racially prejudiced judicial system. Powe’s mother struggled to keep food on the table for 7 hungry children. She stole groceries and was locked up for 90 days. This forced Leon, the eldest of the children to grow up. Fast. His single mother passed away two days before his high school state championship game. Basketball was the only ticket out for his entire family and he pursued it as such.
The family - Leon is the oldest of seven siblings - lived in shelters, abandoned houses, rundown residential hotels, even in the backs of abandoned cars. Landry’s husband was in a state prison. Even Leon’s best friend was in trouble.
In game 2 of the ‘08 NBA finals, Powe scored 21 points in less than 15 min off the bench sparking an exciting victory for Celtics. Leon has arrived, despite all the tall odds stacked against him. What about the other 8 of 10 children raised by single mothers? How will they end up? What if they don’t have Leon’s talent or responsible guidance to be successful?
To combat the illnesses caused by single parent homes we need fresh, bold solution-oriented ideas.
Naimah Latif, a local Ahmadi author, producer, scholar, educator and Vice President of Latif Communications Group, has written a book that does just that. She proposes the eradication of laws in America outlawing polygamy/polygyny to combat the crisis that has developed in our society, specifically targeting the Urban Single Mother.
Reactions vary widely depending on whose opinion we solicit. Many, most likely, will judge “The Female Solution” without ever reading a paragraph.
Naimah Latif’s book isn’t about polygamy. Not even close. “The Female Solution” is about identifying the roots of the social problems arising from broken homes and enacting proactive solutions based in love, wisdom and responsibility.
She draws from a wide variety of examples from the social order of animals such as birds, lions, wolves, and buffalo. Naimah also collects valuable insights from an impressive array of scholarly, ground-breaking, books.
“The Female Solution” masterfully dichotomizes masculine and feminine tendencies and tactfully elucidates distinct roles of mothers and fathers in establishing a supportive environment conducive to physical, emotional and spiritual growth. This foundation is priceless for grounded, well-behaved, loving children who will exude the values instilled in them. They will thus become a constructive influence on society rather than being destructively influenced by society. The home will become the central hub rather than the pub or club.
Peace cannot be established in a society or community that does not have peace in its own homes:
Home is a place of peace and comfort – not a place of confusion, where children don’t know when a mother may stumble into a disheveled house after a drugged out night of partying and remember that there is no food for them to eat.
Home is a place of safety and security – not a place of fear where children have to worry about whether a father will burst in the door in a drunken rage and terrorize the family with threats of violence.
Home is a place where the family gathers together and celebrates the joyful presence of children. It is the existence of children that reminds a family that their past is connected to a future. (“The Female Solution”, pg 80)
On properly channeling adolescent sexual drive:
When adults are confused in their thinking about sex, they pervert the natural development of children. Children need physical affection in order to develop the capacity to express physical affection. As children grow into adolescence, this expression of physical affection naturally develops into a desire for sexual intimacy. This desire, rather than being condemned or exploited, should be guided towards a whole anticipation of a very special, exclusive relationship. When sexual intimacy is presented as a natural consequence of reaching adulthood, finding a mate and getting married, there is no shame, guilt or disgust attached to it. (“The Female Solution”, pg 63)
On the need for love in marriage:
Men and women need love from each other to enhance their physical health and emotional well being. They need love from each other in order to have inner peace and tranquility. Love stimulates the body’s natural opiates. Life is stressful, and without love’s soothing effect, the body develops stress related illnesses that can lead to sickness and early death. Studies show that married men live longer, healthier lives than single men, and married women experience less stress related illnesses than single women. (“The Female Solution”, pg 63)
When women realize the strong influence they have in shaping male behavior, they will be more conscious of how they choose the men in their lives. The role of the female is to set a high standard for males to strive for and to insure that only the best males are allowed to reproduce life. This is nature’s way of continually evolving and improving the species. The females’ selection of the best males insures that each generation produces stronger, more intelligent offspring. Men should compete with each other in the best manner to demonstrate their superior intelligence, strength, and skills.
When women select men who use their abilities to improve the world and uplift humanity, women are setting the standard of manhood all men will strive to reach. When women collectively respond to good men who are superior in their demonstration of honesty, integrity, respect, compassion, generosity, courage, and hard work, women will influence other men to strive to reflect those same values. (“The Female Solution”, pg 151, 152)
As “The Female Solution” eases into a relaxed discussion about polgyny and makes a compelling case, it outlines some alarming truths about the exploitation of the female psyche:
Who could be the most beautiful, the most alluring and the most seductive? The cosmetic industry, the clothing industry and every other industry needed only to advertise that their product would guarantee the capture of a man. Women rushed to the shopping malls, spending whatever it took to beautify their hair, nails, faces and bodies in order to be one of the few to win that prized possession – a good man.
The desire for the love of a man often drives women to go straight to the path of least resistance: Sex. So, women offer sex. Men accept sex. Men leave them after sex. Women are angry. They want love, they hope for commitment, they get neither. This crisis causes some women to act out of desperation. They make bad choices because they believe they have no other options. Some conclude that the best way to avoid heartbreak is to avoid too much emotional attachment. They decide to keep relationships casual and non-committal. That way they are not too disappointed when, even though they desire love, all they can get is a temporary sex partner.
Women need love. They need love like they need air, water, and food. They are being deprived of legal spouses for themselves and legitimate fathers for their children, because the current marriage laws in many U.S. states will not permit legal polygyny. (“The Female Solution”, pg 228)
Naimah’s penetrating insight into relationships and psychology yields an entertaining, enjoyable, intricately interwoven gift that is essential for anyone who desires a fulfilling marriage and posterity that will leave positive waves in its wake for generations to come.
"Strong, decent, responsible, God-fearing men must prepare themselves to marry more than one wife."
Book Review of Naimah Latif’s "The Female Solution" about family relationships, social harmony, rearing of children, and polygyny or polgamy as a possible Female Solutions to the societal problems created by single parent homes.
November 19th, 2008 by 
Khanverse
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